So during this winter break I’ve watched much more TV than I have since I’ve been in college. Seriously if you know me you know that all I watch is Psych and Glee (on Hulu) and the occasional cooking network and Disney channel. I didn’t even realize that our house changed from Dish to Comcast 2 weeks ago. Sooooo that means goodbye Cooking Network (depressed! So much better than Food Network) and hello Logo! Yup the channel devoted to the LGBT community is now on non-stop if I’m near a television. It all started when I realized that they were having a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon New Year’s weekend. Yeah I loved the show, ever since elementary school I use to watch it with the folks. But that’s not what this is about. When the marathon was over I started watching some other shows and movies. I just wanted to see if they were good or not. And most of them were. I especially liked this movie titled, “The Gymnast”. It was about a women name Jane, who after an injury had to stop competing for the Olympics. She then decides to use her talent to become an aerial performer. She meets a lesbian performer named Serena, who then becomes her training partner and sure enough they begin to fall for each other. The problem is, is that Jane is married to a male and even though they are having their own problems she feels obligated to try and work it out with him. Of course in the end she leaves him and goes off to be with Serena and I’m sure they lived happily ever after….
So this brings me to the topic of this post. But before I get into it let me throw this background together, because I don’t want anyone to have the wrong idea. I am the most open, accepting and affirming person you’ll ever meet. And I have been since I can remember. Yes even before my ruthless environment change from super small country town to DC, one of the largest gay cities in America. And before my acceptance into Howard University, one of the gayest campuses I know. (And that’s said with as much respect and honest truth that I can muster. We have a very large LGBT community. Yeah a lot of it is closeted but regardless...) and I’m always interested in learning as much as I can about the LGBT community, especially since I find myself so deeply absorbed. (Not a bad thing at all!)
But anyway, I look at the case of the women from the movie. I’m really talking about Jane. I really wish I could know her inner thoughts. I wish I could have seen her life spanned out from early childhood until where she was at 43-years old. (Yeah I know it’s impossible with an hour and a half TV movie.) I guess I’m wondering if she was really a lesbian or bi-sexual or if she had an undeniable connection with that one, particular woman. It didn’t stress if she had ever found women attractive prior to meeting Serena but I guess it wasn’t relevant. What was relevant was that she fell in love with this woman and she had to be with her. I wonder how often this happens in real life.
It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that the percentage of women who publicly identify as bi-sexual or lesbians has raised a great amount within this last decade. Maybe it’s because females are feeling more comfortable coming out in this day and time. Maybe it’s because males have increasingly effed up more now than in the past. (hehehe) Maybe it’s just a trend. I’m not sure. What I do know is that people are putting a great emphasis on sexuality these days. And some people feel as if putting labels on it will help those understand it more. Trust me; I’m not the type of person who needs an explanation on how “titles” and “definitions” are only relevant if you personally buy into them but sometimes I do have to wonder….
Is it possible to live the majority of your life interested in the opposite sex and then one person changes everything? For 42 years Jane thought she was straight but then as she got closer to one person she changes her sexuality completely. Does it happen that fast? Can it truly happen without prior inkling to that person, that they’re gay?
What is sexuality? If I’m emotionally attracted to a female am I immediately labeled as gay? Or is sexuality just defined by who you want to have sexual relations with? I guess that makes the most sense, right? But how about those people who define themselves as LGBT and have not had a sexual encounter with anyone male or female but are attracted to everything else about a particular person? They aren’t yet interested in what they are working with below the belt but they are very much intrigued by their choices, their actions, their knowledge, their perceptions, their attitudes, their opinions, their ideologies and their points of view. Or how about if that same person identifies with being straight? Which thinking is correct?
Well I don’t honestly believe that there can be a right or wrong answer. It’s all depends on how that individual recognizes themselves. But is it wrong to wonder? And even though no one wants to honestly say that they are judgers or that they are labelers, we all do it. Maybe not so vocally, but we do place people into categories as vague as male/females, black/white/other, young/old, etc…
I’m not trying to necessarily find any particular answer to anything. I don’t think there is one. There are way too many variables including the fact that every human being is different and thinks differently, to have a definite answer to anything concerning sexuality (well in my opinion that is). But I just wanted to bring to light something that I have thought about. And of course this isn’t even restricted to females. I only focused in on them because of the characters from the movie.
So let me know what you think. I;m not trying to sound ignorant. I'm simply curious. I’m honestly interested in everyone’s opinions and thoughts. I’m sure you can give me some insight and understanding!