Is it thanksgiving yet? Actually skip that, is it Christmas yet? I’m soooooo done with this semester. This has been the most trying time of my life. Every time I seem to figure out a solution to some problem another one just comes out of nowhere until eventually problem after problem adds up and I’m taking shots thru a whole bottle of Vanilla Smirnoff by myself. I’m facing the sickness of my blackberry, the homicide of my car, the suicide of my friendships and the disappearance of my scholarships. Yea it’s hard times. Anyways I’m ready to start a new year. 2009 has been in total= Super Sucky. But I have a feeling, a strong uncontrollable feeling that 2010 is going to be my year. Not only because I’ll be 21, but because I know that I’ll be on my grown women grind (lol). I’m so ready to be the “go-to” person for any and all things social, education related and especially dealing with my career. I’m ready to graduate, and most importantly move farrrrrrrr away from this city and from its’ people. I do love DC, don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to get sick of the people at Howard. And the worst part is that it’s not even people I randomly run into, it’s the people who’ve I known for the last 3 years. There’s people who I must continue to give the *side eye* to. In the past it was so easy for me to open up and trust everyone who gave me 2 seconds of their time. Unfortunately this has hurt me in the worst way possible. Choosing to slack on my screening process has most definitely left me feeling deeply betrayed. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was people who I could care less about but the “guilty folk” are those who at one time I consider closes to me.
So yea now I’m all hurt, blah blah blah….and I’m ready to get the fuck out of this house and especially out this city….ok so not permanently but just for a week or so…I just need a break from everyone (well mostly everyone.) I feel overly stressed and worn out and underappreciated all the time. I mean maybe I’m just being dramatic….naw I take that shit back. I’m actually holding my real feelings back soooooo much more than I should be. After everything that’s happened to me recently I should be livid! But I’ma chill shawty. Cause that’s the best advice I can take! I’m not quite bitter but I’m getting there. If I just remember that Beyonce said it best then I’ll be fine.
Me, myself and I. That’s all I got in the end. That’s what I found out. And it ain’t no need to cry. I took a vow that from now on I’m gonna be my own best friend.