Thursday, September 1, 2011

"God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex."

I've been down for the sex-positive feminism movement for some time now. I think it really started freshman year of college. Around the time when students were able explore the more physical side of relationships without the worry of parental figures snooping around and peers putting your business all over Myspace. And even though I wasn't one of those freshman girls who brought their boyfriends back to their rooms for some afternoon delight, I still felt that sexual freedom is an essential component of women's freedom.

For us females there seems to be a tug-of-war between how we could naturally behave and how we chose to behave. It's our natural urges vs. our fear to be negatively perceived because of those urges. Sex...Safe Sex that is....can be fun, passionate and powerful. And as females that's exactly what we want. We want kisses, head and back breaking and we are well aware of the implications of accepting those terms. In most cultures if a female is known as someone who enjoys sex and what not, they are almost always automatically categorized as a slut or hoe. And don't let that female speak about the amount of sexual trysts she has engaged in! Even if the number is low and she speaks of how much she has enjoyed those few, she is still labeled faster than a can of Campbell's soup.

Of course I have to mention the double standard that is lingering in the air. Males speak of the amount of "Conquests" they have made and "Big Pimpin" starts playing in the background. It's an unfortunate reality, because these males are messing with the same "sluty" females who are adding notches under your "player belts". Why is Lil Kim a hoe but Lil Wayne the fucking man?
And another thing....Kate Middleton is probably considered quite ladylike in most of our eyes. But yet she isn't anymore appealing than Lil Kim. No one wants a goody- two- shoes but no one wants to be associated with a hoe either? So does this mean that we will only be able to attract the wanted attention from our counterparts if we find a happy median? I'm going to have to put the church finger up and exit stage left because I personally don't want to have to censor my behavior/habits because supposedly my sexual liberation gives me a bad name.

Why must it be two extremes? if you're not a virgin than you're a slut. If you like hanging out with males than you are having sex with them. If you consider your self a free spirit than you're easy. Trust me none are necessarily true. Knowing the feeling of sexual freedom will undoubtedly give you the feeling of confidence. Sex (especially from the stance of women) is still very taboo in this misogynistic society. If all of us women we're able to admit to enjoying dressing up in revealing club wear, getting male attention and wanting some good ol' get down without giving a DAMN about what anyone may think, the double standard could be demolished. You may disagree but this could potentially be considered a step towards the advancement of women kind.


  1. What an amazingly strong perspective and argument! I never thought about it like that. I believe that men have taken this "step", but I do feel like it has hurt our society for the simple fact that we now lack and fail in relationships BECAUSE sex is so readily available and accessible. On the other hand, I do feel like we women SHOULD adopt this "step" because of the simple fact that : if the boys can, why CAN'T we. Shoot, it takes two. How is ONE just fine with doing it & the OTHER the hoe? It takes a hoe to do something that is "right"? Hm. Questions Questions. And I respect your knowledge drop because it really opens up the mind for further talk. I respect you so much for this. You killed it.

    "Why must it be two extremes? if you're not a virgin than you're a slut. If you like hanging out with males than you are having sex with them. If you consider your self a free spirit than you're easy." <-- And yes! This needs, TO go!

    Kimberly, FWB

  2. Thank you so much!! And I completely agree with the fact that the ideal relationship has been flawed so much in this generation because of the availability and non-nonchalant attitude towards sex. I made a mistake and should have wrote this more from the view of someone who supports female sexuality within a committed relationship, because that is something I truly do believe in. But at least this does allow for some open dialogue.

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