I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. It started while I was in New York. Nothing too compelling. Just a lot of self assestment. Trying to muddle through all the voices in my head. I'm not really sure what the inside of other people's minds sound like but my brain is filled with the distinct voices of anyone who has a significant amount of influence in my life. Sometimes the voices are from those who inspire me profoundly while some other voices are from those which I would rather not hear. Mostly because their advice and oppinons are far from benefical.
And although I sound like a crazy person right now, recently I've been able to dismiss the unimportant blabbering from my mind and start to focus on the things that will hopeful impact my life for the positive.I've been living my life for others and they have been living through me. I can't blame anyone but myself. It's time for me to do what I want to do and how I want to do it. And although I don't think I've been living far from that goal, I do realize that. I've allowed what people think and expect from me to push me so far into the abyss, that surfacing looked far from likely. But I'm getting it together and sooner or later (hopefully sooner than later) I'll be on the steadfast pursuit to my overall happiness and contentment.
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