Toys 'R' Us Kids

It's almost time for me to make some very real decisions. I don't like thinking about the future because most times I end up getting a headache. But I need to stop avoiding the very present choices I need to make. Grad school is (could be) right around the corner. After taking the GRE last weekend (let's not talk about that fail!) I realized that I'm kinda far from where I need to be if I really want to make these Grad school dreams a reality. It's time to get them recommendation letters from the chairs of my department, my old boss, my pastor, Ms. Fatima who I buy beef patties and coco bread from everyday for the last four years... basically ANYONE who will say something positive about me and my work ethic. And once I get that on and poppin I need to figure out how in the world I'm going to pay for these here application fees. Why can't at least one school hit me with the "Fee-Wavier"? I can't understand. One of the schools I've chosen has an app fee of $115. Yes, One-hundred and fifteen US/ American dollars, just to attempt to go to your school. And of course no guarantees/refunds are to be understood. And did I mention I have SIX (6) schools that I'm considering?

Maybe going to Grad school right after I graduate isn't the best idea. If I can't afford the app fees now, how in the WORLD will I be able to actually pay the tuition??? As much as I want to go when the school lifestyle is still fresh on my mind, economically it's not looking good. Not to mention this will be the first time in about 18 years that I wouldn't have to worry about the hustle and bustle of going back to school. You know all the work you put in right before school starts? It would be refreshing to not have to worry about all of that. But if when I do decide to further my education will the vacation from the idea of school hinder my return?

I don't know. But all of my apps are pretty much due on the 1st of December, which gives me very little time to way the pros and cons of whether I should go or not. And did I mention that three of my six schools are out of the country? (Yea I keep leaving out information because I'm trying to hide the reality from myself.) So not only will I have to deal with tuition but a out of country living expense will be a whole new thing to conquer itself.

Oh dang....and here comes that headache I was trying to avoid. I need my snuggie and my mommy. I Lehman's terms, I don't want to grow up.