Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"Thanks for holding. This is your ex-friend speaking..."

The one thing I hate about relationships is the fact that people tend to forget about their friends when they get tangled up. It may just be me, but in any of the relationships I’ve ever been in the one thing my friends wouldn’t have to worry about is my disappearance. Finding the perfect balance between the ones I love and the one I’m in love with has always been easy for me. It’s most likely due to the fact that I personally hate when people put other people on the back burner. It’s just rude to drop all ties to your friends when your new lady friend or fellow comes into the picture. God forbid the two of you break up and when you need consoling the same people who you “kicked to the curb” (for lack of a better phrase) are same ones you run to, to soothe your spirit. I unfortunately have a tendency to play the role of the “dropped friend”, and every time I’ve been pushed away I’ve always been there to lend a tear soaked shoulder. Recently I’ve been thinking, “Why am I always the one put on hold or getting played, yet forgiving so easily?” Who knows? I never considered myself that nice, but maybe that’s the reason??? Being considerate, cordial and understanding are traits that have been tearing me down, recently. Playing the “nice guy” is exhausting. And lately I’ve been wondering if the only person not gaining from it is me. My best friend told me that the thing I need to work on is being more selfish. Something I find hard to comprehend when I grew up learning the “Sharing is Caring” song, was taught to have good sportsmanship and was continually reminded to put others before yourself. But then again I’ve also been taught to never allow anyone to take advantage of you. If that means being a bit selfish and worrying about how I’m going to make it day by day before I stress out about how you ‘re going to make it, well so be it. Managing “me time” will inevitably leave you able to help others, even the ones who find your friendship necessary when it’s convenient for them.

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