Saturday, September 12, 2009
back at it
Well if you can't tell from the lack of blogging from last month, August came and went in a flash. August 1st marked my move-in as well as the beginning of my new mindset. I can't even believe that I've been living in DC for over a month now. Well to summarize August, it was a reality check. I learned how to live in the real world, who I knew would hold me down, who I personally wouldn't mind holding down and finally how to take responisbilty and turn it around to increase responsibilty. And the biggest stressor of the month was recalculating the influence I give certain people in my life. This idea of friendship is something that will most likely be forever taxing on my life. At this point of time I could careless about keeping the company I'm accoustumed to. It seems more like a hassel than needed. I spend too much energy trying to keep friends. That process is suppose to be easy. I'm too busy exerting force into pointless friendships and not any energy towards things that deserve my full attention, like work, school and potential relationships. At this point of time all I can really do is take this elementary school style. Where you point and chose who you want on your team for kickball. Sorta like, "Well fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, you're cool, you're cool, fuck you." Of course there are a lot more "fuck you's" but I can't care how anyone feels right now. It's sounds selfish but it's about time I start worrying less about how my actions affects our relationship. If we are really friends than you'll take me as I am.