Wednesday, September 28, 2011

#biggirlproblems (revisited)

After the #biggirlproblems post my self confidence was through the roof and I felt really good about everything I said. Usually when I write or speak directly off emotions it comes out all wrong, and far from what I initially want to say. I'll have so many thoughts racing thru, that sometimes I say so much without any explanation for why I say something. Or I'll get caught up on one aspect and forget about other things that are worth speaking on. But this time I think I had it. And I didn't think I needed to clarify anything that I said. That was until last week when I received an anonymous comment that really took me off guard. After I read it (20 times to make sure it wasn’t a joke) I deleted it because I didn’t want anyone to be affected by it. But after some long consideration I not only decided to put it back up there but to respond to the aloof commentator. I hate allowing people to live in ignorance and it’s my full duty to help even this one person out of the abyss of witlessness.

So the comment said this:

“Hmmm…I def agree with u when it comes to women not having to take guys thinking of women as easy. No women should feel as if they have to mess with anyone to prove their worth. But that’s where my agreeing ends. I don’t think its right for u to tell someone who is overweight that it is ok to be. Theres a difference between loving yourself and not living in reality. Promoting an unhealthy lifestyle is a sign that your living outside of reality. I see that you said you have tried dieting. Well dont give up. If it didn’t help u either didnt work hard enough or didnt work long enough. If that doesnt work then maybe it’s a psychological problem. Its ok to ask for mental help. That’s why psychiatrist r there. Work to be the best u can be. Every girl deserves to feel beautiful. Don’t stop yourself from that feeling to.”

Ohhhhh where to beginnnnnn???

Well I guess I can start by saying that it’s really funny sad that people tend to feel as if they know what’s best for other people when they have NO personal connection to that person at all. Of course in this case the person who left this comment could be a close friend of mine but I truly doubt it. I can pretty much rule out anyone I know by the way the person typed and because anyone who knows me should know that everything this person wrote is the complete opposite of how I feel.

I was in no way trying to promote an unhealthy lifestyle. I am actually a strong advocate for a healthy diet and daily exercising. I mean, If that’s what you consider healthy. But honestly how can anyone tell if someone is healthy by just reading a post or even looking at them. Even if I weighed 350 pounds you couldn’t tell me that I was unhealthy unless I was literally strapped on a gurney, strung out, knocking on death’s door. If you looked at me now you probably wouldn’t know that I rarely eat meat (no red meat at all), I don’t eat any fried foods or sweets and I run a half a mile and walk two miles every day. And even though I do all of that I am FAR from a size 2…shoot far from a size 12! But I’m not healthy and I don’t promote healthy living? Hmmm…I don’t think so!

Do I promote being overweight? It’s not that straight forward. I promote being comfortable and confident in yourself in your current state. If that means that you are overweight then so be it. If it means that you are underweight then so be it. As long as you are happy with who you are that is what matters. And of course that applies to much more than physical appearance. But since clearly that’s the issue at hand I’ll stick to referring to it. What I was trying to convey in the post was that you shouldn’t look at anyone else or what society feels is more “attractive” “beautiful”, or “sought after” as a comparison of what you need to be. As well as don’t sulk or be depressed by the fact that you don’t fit into these sometimes unattainable molds. That does not mean that if you do want to lose weight that you shouldn’t try, just don’t feel as if that’s the only way you will feel good about yourself, and the only way others will feel good about you. And that goes with anything that you may want to work on within yourself, not just weight related.

Trust me I know the difference between loving myself and living in reality. In reality I am a plus size women…who loves herself. Plain and simple. I’m not over here thinking “I’m not overweight because as long as I don’t think I am, then I’m not.” Trust me, my doctor and I are quite aware of my weight and that’s really all that matters.

Now let me address this psychological issue you call yourself diagnosing me with. I’m slightly crazy. So is everyone else on this earth. That I’ll give you. But that does not mean that I’m suffering from some type of mental disorder that makes me continuously eat. I’m not saying that, that does not exist. I am sure that there are people who suffer from something that does make them gain weight but me personally (and probably a lot of us out there) I just like eating. Food taste good so I eat it! For some hoes, sex feels good so they keep having it! (ok that was a jump…and I apologize for my tactless comparison.) But honestly! It’s that simple. And like I stated in the original post, I’ve always been a big girl so If I were to drop enough weight to fit a size 2 I would probably look sickly, because that’s not what size I was supposed to be. I’m not scared of psychologist, and I know that psychiatrist are out there for a reason. I think I need to look into some Prozac to be completely honest. But that has nothing to do with weight…

Whoever wrote this, I’m not even trying to come at you. I see that you are concerned with mine as well as my subscriber’s wellbeing. Clearly you have your best interest in heart. But it’s simply that; YOUR best interest”. I really am fine with who I am physically and I hope everyone else in the world can say that too. And I want you to know that.

But you are right about one thing. Every girl does deserve to feel beautiful. I truly feel that I am …and I’ll feel it if I’m 100 pounds heavier and I’ll feel it if I’m 100 pounds lighter.


  1. i love, love, love, love this post. amazing.

    -Nina P.

  2. Featured your BEYOND AMAZING WRITING self!

    Featured you btw!

  3. @ Nina P. Thank you for your kind comment. It really made me smile =D

    @ Kimberly THANK YOU SO MUCH! I can't express how appreciative I am!